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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

When LeAnn Met Mr. Holmes

I have two words for this past week - OY VEY!!!

I've been washing, ironing, pressing, painting and upholstering everything that doesn't move out of my way - such a glamorous life I lead, I know!  Da Hubbs and I leave today for the spring Antiques Week in Round Top, Texas.  I'm not ready - not gonna be ready - never ready -  I've been contemplating faking some sort of psychosomatic episode - one of those curl up in bed and suck my thumb and rub my blanky against my cheek, kinda deals.  But, alas - the junkers and antique-ers call, so I must press forward . . . .  Get it, "press" - I slay me!

So, instead of continuing the "Yikes -I'm-freakin'-out-cuz-I'm-a-chronic-procrastinator-dance," I have a story . . . .


Last week I made a new friend.  I elected to change her name in this story for various reasons.  This is mainly out of respect for the fact that most people don't make new acquaintances in order to appear later in a blog post.  I've made only one exception to this self-imposed policy of anonymity.  Mr. Holmes really is named Mr. Holmes.  I wanted to use his real name because it is integral to the story.

This friendship was formed during . . . . Wait for it . . . . . . BINGO NIGHT!!! . . .  I new it was only a matter of time before I was wheeled down to the senior center to play "the bingo", but I suspected I had a few more years before this happened.  I've decided to call my new friend Jo Betsy Greenberg - she's one of those lilting southern ladies - only with quite a colorful vocabulary and a really quirky sense of humor.

Any-who, we arrived at BINGO NIGHT and were being taken around to meet the other folks at the party.  Within a matter of seconds, she was there - her hand held out and ready to shake.  She introduced herself as Jo Betsy Greenberg and then said, "My husband's the Jew - I just converted for the jokes." 

You love her yet, or what?  Wait, it gets better . . .

She, motions toward the sofa where her little yip-yip dog is perched and says, "That little horn-bone over there is Mr. Holmes."  I didn't get it until later, when it hit me that she was referring to John Holmes, the 1970s porn star.  It hit because Mr. Holmes proceeded to sexually assault my left leg for the next 30 minutes.  Finally, Jo Betsy said, "Just fake an orgasm and he'll quit."  So, I did - all Meg Ryan-like from When Harry Met Sally fame and he stopped and went over to his little dog bed and shot me "call me later" glances, punctuated occasionally by little squeaking noises that sounded like air being released from a balloon little by little, to which Jo Betsy would say, "Poor Mr. Holmes - he's got "the gas."  By the end of the evening, the air in her apartment was visible and smelled of rotten eggs, dead body and a tinge of Ben-Gay, which dilated ye old olfactory nerve, making the stench summon tears and my gag reflex repeatedly!

Okay, so that was gross, but I had to share and continue my lot in life as the "Too Much Information Giver." 

So, now I must be off to Round Top for the next 8 days to sell some vintage goodies - so wish me luck!  Keep checking in though, cuz I'll occasionally post updates, pics and more stories.  And unlike Vegas - What happens in Round Top does not necessarily stay in Round Top!

If you are planning on attending Antiques Week this spring, I would love it if you would come by and see me at my spaces at Vickie Davis' wonderful venue, The Texas Rose Antiques Show, located across from Marburger Farms, 2075 South State Highway 237.  You can find directions here.  The show begins Saturday, March 27th, and runs through Saturday, April 3, 2010.

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Monday, March 22, 2010

Blog It forward: Inspiration

Thanks to The Sweetest Occasion for passing the baton on to me during the Blog It Forward - made possible by Victoria from sfgirlbybay - Thanks so much!  And on Tuesday the blogger mash up  continues with The Wandering Writer.

I have many sources of inspiration that might give insight into the way I work. My passions are many and various: from art, music and books to flowers and gardening to family and friends. So here is what inspires me:



Along with VeraTricia Guild and Florence Broadhurst provide constant inspiration.



Sites and podcasts like Selected Shorts, The Moth, and The New Yorker Fiction Podcasts



As Erma Bombeck said, "If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."

Photos courtesy Erma Bombeck, Haven Kimmel, Sloane Crosley, David Sedaris, Amy Sedaris, and  Simon Rich.  Logos courtesy Selected Shorts, The Moth, and The New Yorker Fiction Podcasts.

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Friday, March 12, 2010

Girl Friday: Carmen Natschke

I'm all flush and the room is kinda spin-y because the marvelous Carmen Natschke has profiled The Vintage Laundry on her blog called The Decorating Diva.  The series is called Inspired by Home Decor Store Design and can be found here.

Natschke is an award winning designer and co-founder of Room In A Kit and The Decorating Diva online magazine. She has received many accolades for her outstanding retail design and merchandising skills and her design and trend forecasting expertise is sought by many industry giants, which makes this profile of The Vintage Laundry all the more flattering. 

Carmen thanks you so much for this lovely feature and a long over due thanks for an earlier listing of my Want It Wednesdays blog posts in your Best of the Web Series.

Logo courtesy Decorating Diva

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Thursday, March 11, 2010

City Wide Garage Sale This Weekend!

This week I've been painting, upholstering and washing myself into a full fledged frenzy preparing for this weekend's (March 13th and 14th) City Wide Garage Sale at Palmer Events Center here in Austin. My booth is #217 near the red skirted info desk. There is a $7 charge to park in the garage or there is a free parking lot at One Texas Center on the Southwest corner of So First and Barton Springs, as well.

Saturday morning between 8:30am -10am City Wide offers early shopper passes for $10 each.  This allows those who choose to have early access to the show and get first dibs on vendors merchandise before the general admission customers enter at 10am.

I hope you get a chance to come and see me, cuz I have some really marvelous goodies this show!

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Want It Wednesdays: Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Banana

 Photos courtesy 1stdibs, Swank Lighting, Lavish Home and Found for The Home

Friday, March 5, 2010

So, That Happened

The other day I was sitting on the sofa with my leg slung over the arm simultaneously watching NCIS, flippin' through my new Coastal Living Magazine, and munchin' on some Bugles - multi-tasking equals power, people!  The Bugles that I hadn't eaten yet were perched on the tips of my fingers posing as Lee Press-on Nails, when, all of sudden, like out of nowhere comes da Hubbs and little did I know, but I was about to have one of those, "I -love-you-you-are-perfect-now-change" conversations.

Da Hubbs walks in and sits on the floor beside the couch and says, "I'm gonna do some sit ups . . . . You want to join me?"  I said, "No," and continued, "I have crossed and uncrossed my legs several times this afternoon and I'm pretty sure that move is classified as an intermediate to advanced yoga workout . . . . it's true, I heard it on Oprah!"  "U-huh . . ."  he grunted.  Then, I followed with, "I'm doing my Kegel exercises right now anyway."  "Kegel exercises?" he questioned. "Yeah, you know I'm flexing my pelvic muscles . . . . Like internally like . . . . .  Its supposed to strengthen my core,"  I said, as I ran my Bugle adorned fingers over my stomach region.  The Hubbs kinda shot me a sideways kinda look and said, "Okay, well it doesn't look like you're doing anything but having a snack.  "That's the beauty of this particular exercise," I shot back, "you can do them anywhere, without anyone knowing!"  So every time he looked over at me, while he was counting out his sit-ups, I would kinda scrunch up my face and tilt my head heaven-ward and squeeze my right eye shut to imitate physical exertion.  To be honest, I mostly just looked like a was about to sneeze or like a bee had flown up my nose - either that or like I was constipated and needed some of that yogurt that Jamie Lee Curtis eats.

I felt like I had escaped the "Fitness Forest" unscathed and could breathe easy. But I was wrong, because 20 minutes later he decided to go for a jog and invited me along.  I had to go this time cuz when he asked me I was caught in the act of polishing off a Haagen-Dazs Bar.  As we ran, I was trying to keep up and look all in shape and junk, when I got a huge stitch in my side and had to come to a screeching halt on the trail.  The Hubbs started jogging in place while trying to encourage me to push through it and continue.  What I wanted to say was, "Listen up, Triscuit, I'm fairly sure I dropped my uterus back there, and all this sweating is making my mid-life acne worse, not to mention that, at this precise, moment my underwear is wedged up somewhere close to my cerebellum - so back off!!"  What I did do was a little different - all that I really could think to do at that moment was throw up or cry, but I couldn't decide which one to do first.  I decided I should throw up first and get out of the way so when the uncontrollable sobs and snubbing started, I wouldn't suffer from a 1960s-rock-star-type-death.

I have to tell you, barf really comes in handy when you are trying to get out of doing stuff - just ask my Mom or my 1st grade teacher!  Da Hubbs just wrapped an arm around me and told me to hang on and quickly took me home and tucked me into bed and handed me my magazine and got me a Diet Dr. Pepper.

That's it . . . that is my big segue into this month's episode of "SO, THAT HAPPENED AND NOW LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN COASTAL LIVING."

No, really, look what I found! 

One feature I was particularly taken by was the piece by Steele Thomas Marcoux on Manhattan Beach designer, Jill Johnson, and her labor of love.  She converted a 1922 one-bedroom shack into a four-bedroom beach bungalow, nearly doubling the cottage’s size without enlarging its original footprint.  Johnson shares how she remade a rental mess into her dream cottage, one room at a time.

I'm all inspired now . . . where's that paint brush?!

Photos courtesy Coastal Living and Grey Crawford.
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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mr. Selby I Presume

I'm sure most of you know about The Selby already, but just in case, I'd like to introduce you.  The Selby is like porn for home design lovers.  Fashion and interiors photographer Todd Selby's idea for his blog, The Selby, is simply to show images of artists, designers, musicians in their studios or working environment - kind of a voyeuristic peek into the world's creative types.  And, as luck would have it, a  256 page hardback book filled with unique, never before seen spaces of acclaimed individuals all around the globe called The Selby Is in Your Place drops April 1st and is available for pre-orders at Abrams Books and Amazon.

Like Mr. Selby, I love to see how personal style is reflected through interior design in private spaces of other people - I believe that particular level of curiosity is also known as being nosy - one of my most prominent personal traits, I'm afraid.  Unlike Todd, however, I don't have acquaintances like Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler, Karl Lagerfeld, Andre Walker, and Olivier Zahm, who are featured in his book in glamor-rific locations like New York, Los Angeles, Paris, Tokyo, Sydney, and London.  And to add to his marvelous-ness, a big honkin' congratulations is needed because he was just named one of the top Fashion/Style bloggers by this month’s Vogue magazine. Bravo sir - well played - well played, indeed!

I don't know about you, but I'm not gonna miss out on this jewel, so...... I'm headed over to pre-order right after I get this post up!

Photos courtesy Todd Selby and Abrams Books.

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Want It Wednesdays: Blue Blazes

Photos courtesy 1stdibs, Moss Antiques, Ruby Lane, Butler and Butler Gallery, V and M, Sultan Chic

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